To love is to grieve. When a baby dies, all hope is lost…it feels unnatural to outlive your baby. You may experience excruciating pain, anger, guilt, and depression, but we must remember to move through those feelings. When we refuse to go through and release these emotions it manifests in our physical being. We carry the trauma in the tissues of our bodies and within our womb. The sooner we breathe into this pain, the sooner we emerge.
What exactly is perinatal loss? Perinatal loss is the loss of your baby and can happen in 3 different stages of early life.
– Miscarriage: When an embryo or fetus is born before 20 weeks gestation. Approximately 1 in 4 women will experience this in their lifetime. (March of Dimes)
– Stillborn: When a baby dies between 20 and 40 weeks gestation. This may happen in about 1% of all births. (March of Dimes)
– Neonatal Death: A baby that dies soon after birth, typically within 28 days. This is usually attributed to prematurity, infection or birth asphyxia. (World Health Organization)
As a Labor and Delivery (with experience in the Neonatal ICU), sister, friend and woman, I have held space for, cared for and grieved alongside parents of these sweet babies that never leave our hearts. I’m telling you this to say that if you have experienced this type of loss…you are not alone.
Below are some ways to help process your grief. It is important to note that you will always feel the loss of your baby. Your life will never be what it once was, but there is hope for a beautiful transformation. The only way to lighter and brighter days is to go through the storm.
5 Ways to Create a Sanctuary for Healing After Perinatal Loss
After you spend time in your sanctuary it is important to transition from the space of grief back to your daily duties with some self care. Take a walk, chat with a friend, take a hot bath, take a nap, or do anything that feels nourishing to your mind, body and soul.
Kayla Lauriano has served women for the last decade as a Labor & Delivery and Neonatal ICU nurse. Two weeks into becoming a nurse she committed to giving bereaved parents the best experience they could have as they went through, what could be the worst day of their lives. She is professional lifestyle photographer and first started giving back by taking photos of the family during their baby's first and last moments. Kayla works on Bereavement Committees for both Labor and Delivery and NICU, is a Resolve Through Sharing Coordinator, which allows her to train medical professionals how to appropriately care for patients experiencing this type of loss, and a Certified Pre/Postnatal Yoga Instructor who facilitates healing the womb through movement and pranayama. For more information on Kayla’s offerings visit www.klasirena.com or email email@example.com. Follow along on Instagram at @kla.sirena or @kla.photography.
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