Healing from Infertility, Pregnancy and Birth Trauma

Here we are starting the summer of 2021–a time for enjoying beautiful weather weather and hopefully seeing our family members now that vaccination is becoming more available. But for many, even though there are pleasant things to look forward to this time of year, it cannot subdue the emotional pain that may linger from trauma related to our family building journeys.

Trauma from Infertility, Pregnancy or Birth

The trauma may have included a high risk and/or complicated pregnancy, loss of a pregnancy, or complications during/after delivery. If any part of your once-imagined story of simply getting pregnant, having a blissful pregnancy, and then delivering a healthy baby went vastly different, then you may have experienced trauma.

What do I mean by trauma?

As Parijat Deshpande, a leading mind-body health specialist, says, “Trauma is not about WHAT happened, but HOW your body experienced it. Trauma is when too much happened too soon and too fast. Trauma does not heal with time.”

In the standard approach to healing trauma, the following is believed:

  • Talking about your traumatic experiences is the only way to heal.
  • If you don’t remember what happened to you, you cannot heal fully.
  • If you change your thoughts, you can heal and reclaim your life.
  • You will need years of support to heal and recover.

But Parijat's work uses a much more modern approach to healing from trauma.

Modern Approach to Healing from Trauma

  • Trauma lives in your body where words cannot reach it.
  • Your body holds memories your mind cannot remember.
  • Talking about your trauma before you experience safety in your body results in high risk of retraumatization.
  • Once you experience safety and stabilize your nervous system health, years of support is not needed for most people.
  • You do not need to remember everything that happened in order to heal.
  • You do not need to retell your story and rehash the past in order to heal.

What is "Healing Hearts"?

Parijat is also the creator of “Healing Hearts,” a group program for women who have finished growing their family and are trying to heal from their fertility/pregnancy/birth trauma or traumatic losses. She has several tremendous resources available, including her book, Pregnancy Brain: A Mind-Body Approach to Stress Management During a High-Risk Pregnancy, which is available in he Babies After 35 Amazon storefront.

Parijat shared her expertise in a discussion with Babies After 35. You can watch the discussion below!

Who Can Benefit from Parijat's Programs:

People who are newly pregnant and looking to support their bodies to reduce their risk of pregnancy complications and preterm delivery, will find her Path to Baby program especially beneficial. The goal of this program is to help people experience pregnancy without the fear and anxiety of past loss(es), pregnancy complications, or preterm birth.

Having gone through pregnancy loss myself and having had a high-risk pregnancy with my twins, I can attest that these types of resources are vital. Please feel free to forward this email to someone who you think might benefit from this information.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are your qualifications?

I am a double board certified ObGyn and Maternal-Fetal Medicine Specialist. I have worked at a large academic center in academic medicine as a clinician, educator and researcher since 2004.  I am currently a tenured Professor and actively manage patients with high-risk pregnancies.

How can I contact you for a collaboration, interview or other opportunity?
Please send me an email.
Can you debunk this social media post I saw?

The best way to contact me about debunking social media content is to send that content to me in a DM on my Instagram account @babiesafter35. You can also email me.

Do you do private consults? Can I get you to review my medical records?

I do not do private consults or review medical records submitted by patients.

Do you accept submissions for articles on your website?

Yes! Please email me for more info.